need you now.

Oh these last 2 weeks have been grueling.

• I'm ready for volleyball to over. The girls have given up.
• I'm ready for school to be over, only to have it start right up again
• I'm scared I won't pass lit block.
• I'm ready to be done with Starbucks
• I'm ready to student teach
• I'm ready to coach high school volleyball

ugh. it's just crazy. I have been on the go for the last 2 weeks and I will keep going until next Friday. Shawna and Dom will be in town this Sunday through next Saturday. I am VERY VERY excited to hold my lil Domosaurus Rex.

I've been having a lot of bad nights lately. Just memories.. it's really annoying but I can't help think about him. Like I was at the boys' last night and it's kinda hard not to drive by his apt because I park in front of it to get to anyone's apt. I just miss him. I miss the thought of him. a hug, a kiss, just waking up to him. a text saying goodnight, but also waking up to a good morning. I'm getting depressed as I read this.

My friend Ben is really great. He is helping me get through this. I know it's petty, but this break-up is the hardest thing I've had to go through personally for a very long time. The fact that he just cut things off.. like.. out of nowhere. It makes me wonder if he had been thinking about it for a very VERY long while. Talking with Ben has helped, he is encouraging and reassuring me that I will get through this. I'm just scared I won't get through it. I'm afraid I'll never find someone like Aaron, ever. He was perfect to me. I hate talking about him, but it's how I feel. I have this small hope that come Fall, he will want to be with me again... dumb, I know.


Well, back to teaching. Got a BIG geometry test today. I'm scared of that too.
Overall feeling of this week: scared

peace ouch.