I'm pretty sure that summer has been set on fast forward. It seems like yesterday that I was waiting for wedding invitations and now those weddings are here! My friends David and Abbie are getting married next weekend on the 10th, and Jon/Traci, Ashlee/Tony's are the weekend of the 30th.
My 2nd session of school is coming to an end also. I don't understand, but love, how fast these summer sessions can be. I've got 2 more papers and one presentation! WOOHOO.
For the last 8 years of my life I have been attending NASC workshop. Now that I am a 5th year staffer, I realize how important this organization is to me. It's not just "I go to camp 1 week a year and have fun!" It's more like "I prepare all year to throw together an amazing week for middle and high school students to become better leaders!"
Another short story (man this blog is full of them today). So since high school, we (people in general if you go to college) have been warned to not use Wikipedia as a source. DUH. It is obviously not reliable as anyone can change the definition of anything. SO in my SPED 401B/801B (grad studies) class there were 4, I repeat 4 students who were in deep trouble in my class. How awful is that? It's more embarrassing than anything. Why in the world would you need to copy and paste a whole Wikipedia site page on autism with the pictures/graphs STILL in it? I mean really? What about taking 3 different journal articles and taking out the references and using it as your own paper? That's ridiculous let alone huge huge HUGE plagiarism. That's the excitement in school right now..
I started my Lincoln Public Schools application. Talk about nerve wracking! I actually have to fill out an application for a big kid job. I don't thin it's going to hit me until I have to actually interview for a position. YIKES! I will keep ya posted on how it's going. I will be applying to Lincoln Public, Bellevue Public, Papillion, Gretna and Elkhorn. Maybe Plattsmouth, but that is definitely a last resort...
High school volleyball camps start next week. It's so exciting to think about. I don't know if I can make it out to Waverly at all, but I'm sure gunna try. It is my team to get to know.. I just don't have time with the last week of the 1st summer session and work. Yuck. The week after that is the Pius camp. I have been lucky enough to meet Jake Moore, only one of the best high school volleyball coaches in the United States. I'm not even exaggerating. He won the 2008 prepvolleyball.com National Coach of the Year award. Like, hello, awesome. Anyways.. let's get back on track. I met him through some unfortunate negative events regarding the club Nebraska Juniors and my club Nebraska Volleyball Academy. Needless to say, I did not like this man. He was rude and arrogant. I have since met with him at various other volleyball functions and Jake actually has a class next to mine in the mornings. It's fun to see him and just to see a familiar face at all. I respect him greatly and have forgotten about our little rumble in the jungle. It's all good. Where is this going? Oh yeah! So I asked Jake if I could observe his varsity camp and he said I was more than welcome to do so. Which is friggen AMAZING and almost a dream come true. I love volleyball. I have lived for the sport since I was introduced to it in 1995. I was a young girl seeing the Nebraska Volleyball team qualify to move on in the NCAA tournament. They ended up playing for their first National Championship that same season. Yup, it was love at first sight.
Ahhhh. the nutshell is ALMOST full. One more story, you might enjoy.
Work. Oh Starbucks. I love this company, I do. But not once in my life have I ever encountered the most creepy customers. Never in my life have I actually been scared to come to work. I won't go into details, but we have had males come in and ask 'red flag' questions. We have also had a customer come in who wrote a story about shooting a barista in the head through the drive thru. Uh yeah. What?
As you can see, that has been my life (in a nutshell).
Monday, July 5, 2010
Monday, June 21, 2010
to foam or not to foam? that is the question.. or is it a question?
Ok, I obviously work at Starbucks. This morning something totally irked me and it's not the first time. SOme lady asked for no foam on her facking chai tea latte. Ok, as baristas, yes we are supposed to make your drink right. Yes, we are supposed to make sur eyou are happy and YES we screw up sometimes. Today happened to be a particularly unhappy day for little miss rain cloud. She threw a fit. Like a real temper tantrum. HEAVEN FORBID there was foam on her latte. WHAT THE EFF, right? so Blake remade it and sent her on her way. The second she walked out the door, I asked some waiting customers if foam on their lattes was a life or death situation and they just laughed at me, then said no.
So word of the wise, all baristas screw up, but please don't throw a hissy fit/temper tantrum. It's not our fault you're having a bad day and if it is? Then go to a new coffee shop because we don't want customers like you!
So word of the wise, all baristas screw up, but please don't throw a hissy fit/temper tantrum. It's not our fault you're having a bad day and if it is? Then go to a new coffee shop because we don't want customers like you!
Sunday, June 20, 2010
rain, rain, keep a'coming.
As I'm sitting here at NuVibe, a really cool coffee shop, I've done a bit of thinking about the last few weeks. I don't even remember the last time I posted.. sheesh!
Today is Father's Day. I was not able to be around my Dad, which is actually really sad if you think about it.
I'm 22 years old and I'm living in a city of like 60,000 people. I live 1 hour from my parents and I never make it home. I have friends in Omaha that get mad at me for not visiting. Well, why don't you visit here? I recently missed my cousin's 21st birthday because of work. My cousins/siblings were pissed. Uh, hello. They do not realize how busy my life is. It's not that easy to take work off. It's not that easy to stop my life to accomodate yours. I'm sick of people trying to take advantage of me, trying to push me around to do what they want to do. I want to do something for me. My family is going down to the lake for the 4th, I'm so jealous, but the instant that my sister, brother, mother AND father (all at seperate instances) told me I needed to take work off to come down. It made me realize how much I don't want to go down there anymore. Fuck. I work full-time, I go to school full-time, I rarely make it out on the weekends BECAUSE I DON'T HAVE TIME. It's just so frustrating. I can;t wait to be out on my own. Out of college, with my own apartment and my own time.
This rant sucks.
Boys suck. I'm still in love with the one who broke my heart. I try to hang out with others, but they like to ditch me. It's just getting old. I want to find a man who could win my heart over instantly. I can always dream, but what if when I move to (or just travel) Europe I meet this amazing man. Orrrr I have this crazy idea of when I move to DC that I'll meet the future president of the US. HAHAHAHA. I like that one the best. {a girl can always dream}
It's been raining for like the last month. It's pretty great, other than the flooding, that's not great at all. I like the rain, mostly when it storms though. I like the thunder and the cool weather it brings. It makes me wish I had someone to lay in bed with all day or just sit on the porch, drink coffee (or a beer) and just talk about anything...
I. am. pathetic. [must be that rain]
I need to make better use of my time (obviously)
I have a paper due tomorrow and I need to catch up on my reading...
later gator
Today is Father's Day. I was not able to be around my Dad, which is actually really sad if you think about it.
I'm 22 years old and I'm living in a city of like 60,000 people. I live 1 hour from my parents and I never make it home. I have friends in Omaha that get mad at me for not visiting. Well, why don't you visit here? I recently missed my cousin's 21st birthday because of work. My cousins/siblings were pissed. Uh, hello. They do not realize how busy my life is. It's not that easy to take work off. It's not that easy to stop my life to accomodate yours. I'm sick of people trying to take advantage of me, trying to push me around to do what they want to do. I want to do something for me. My family is going down to the lake for the 4th, I'm so jealous, but the instant that my sister, brother, mother AND father (all at seperate instances) told me I needed to take work off to come down. It made me realize how much I don't want to go down there anymore. Fuck. I work full-time, I go to school full-time, I rarely make it out on the weekends BECAUSE I DON'T HAVE TIME. It's just so frustrating. I can;t wait to be out on my own. Out of college, with my own apartment and my own time.
This rant sucks.
Boys suck. I'm still in love with the one who broke my heart. I try to hang out with others, but they like to ditch me. It's just getting old. I want to find a man who could win my heart over instantly. I can always dream, but what if when I move to (or just travel) Europe I meet this amazing man. Orrrr I have this crazy idea of when I move to DC that I'll meet the future president of the US. HAHAHAHA. I like that one the best. {a girl can always dream}
It's been raining for like the last month. It's pretty great, other than the flooding, that's not great at all. I like the rain, mostly when it storms though. I like the thunder and the cool weather it brings. It makes me wish I had someone to lay in bed with all day or just sit on the porch, drink coffee (or a beer) and just talk about anything...
I. am. pathetic. [must be that rain]
I need to make better use of my time (obviously)
I have a paper due tomorrow and I need to catch up on my reading...
later gator
Friday, June 4, 2010
Summahhh
I haven't updated since the weekend. Man did I need that vacation. It was spent driving halfway to KC to meet Eric. So we went out and saw Jaycie and Erin, whom I haven't seen in forever! Then waking up at the crack of dawn to drive 4 hours to Kimberling City. Talk about major think time.
Relaxing on the lake was the remedy I needed. In between crying and thinking about what I want to do with my life, I had so much fun.
Things I pondered was what went wrong between me and Aaron. It's been 2 months, I know. Don't remind me, but I'm not over him. I just realized this but I think I wanted to truly spend the rest of my life with him. That's why I can't get over him. I don't want to think about it anymore though, I just want to get over him. It doesn't help when he texts me things like "I know it's not easy, because if I were to see you now I would feel the same way it's not like we didn't have chemistry." What the fuck is that supposed to mean?
Something else was what I wanted to do with my life. With my best friends moving halfway across the country and Blake moving 5 hours away.. it made me realize I don't want to stay in Nebraska. I will probably stay for a year or two, but I want to move. I want to see the country and possibly the world. I know it's ambitious, but I want to set a goal and meet it.
I was also thinking about my Grandma. I spend my last hour in Kimberling City with her. We hung out in her garden and talked flowers. I love flowers and she gave me that love and appreciation for them. This whole cancer thing has really thrown our family train off the track. I'm just scared and I know she's scared. All we can do is pray and hope for the best.
School is winding down for the first session and I couldn't be more pleased. I dominated my tennis class, but not really. It was so much fun and I'm glad I could learn a lifetime sport. Coaching Philosophy is interesting, but I'm happy it's over!! We are watching Hoosiers today. Thank you coach Brothers for making me despise this movie.
Weekend is pretty free with reffing tomorrow and work on Sunday. Should be a beautiful weekend!
Ciao.
Relaxing on the lake was the remedy I needed. In between crying and thinking about what I want to do with my life, I had so much fun.
Things I pondered was what went wrong between me and Aaron. It's been 2 months, I know. Don't remind me, but I'm not over him. I just realized this but I think I wanted to truly spend the rest of my life with him. That's why I can't get over him. I don't want to think about it anymore though, I just want to get over him. It doesn't help when he texts me things like "I know it's not easy, because if I were to see you now I would feel the same way it's not like we didn't have chemistry." What the fuck is that supposed to mean?
Something else was what I wanted to do with my life. With my best friends moving halfway across the country and Blake moving 5 hours away.. it made me realize I don't want to stay in Nebraska. I will probably stay for a year or two, but I want to move. I want to see the country and possibly the world. I know it's ambitious, but I want to set a goal and meet it.
I was also thinking about my Grandma. I spend my last hour in Kimberling City with her. We hung out in her garden and talked flowers. I love flowers and she gave me that love and appreciation for them. This whole cancer thing has really thrown our family train off the track. I'm just scared and I know she's scared. All we can do is pray and hope for the best.
School is winding down for the first session and I couldn't be more pleased. I dominated my tennis class, but not really. It was so much fun and I'm glad I could learn a lifetime sport. Coaching Philosophy is interesting, but I'm happy it's over!! We are watching Hoosiers today. Thank you coach Brothers for making me despise this movie.
Weekend is pretty free with reffing tomorrow and work on Sunday. Should be a beautiful weekend!
Ciao.
Monday, May 24, 2010
storm's a'comin..
with this fantastic heat wave always comes a storm. it sounds pretty brutal. i cannot wait.
what an eventful day. played some doubles tennis, learned about leadership, ate some huhot, went to the mall, took a nap, finished a book, went rock climbing and said goodbye to a great friend.
i feel so invigorated after climbing, even though i know i'll feel like shit tomorrow. i'm taking a new step in my health and i'm planning on climbing 2-3 times a week. i can only climb once, maybe twice this week but we will see. sarah and i are going to start walking also. i have been eating fairly healthy with the exception of some very unhealthy choices this past weekend. i bought apples and oranges, with salad and vinagrette(sp?). mmm mmm mmm.
i went and wish carole a very safe trip to alaska. carole used to work with me at sbux, she was a very close friend and mother figure. she is an older lady with 3 kids, 2 whom are younger than me. i believe she is mid-50s, but she looks and acts like she is in her 40s! i love her just like a family member. we exchanged info and we will be writing old fashioned letters to each other. i am really going to miss her.
after everything that has been happening in my life, i decided to make a summer bucket list, so here we go:
my 2010 summer bucket list.
{} go on a roadtrip, alone.
{2}make out with 10 different guys
{} try a new, exciting food
{} work out daily
{} read a book from every genre
oh i'll be adding more, dont worry!
buenos noches.
what an eventful day. played some doubles tennis, learned about leadership, ate some huhot, went to the mall, took a nap, finished a book, went rock climbing and said goodbye to a great friend.
i feel so invigorated after climbing, even though i know i'll feel like shit tomorrow. i'm taking a new step in my health and i'm planning on climbing 2-3 times a week. i can only climb once, maybe twice this week but we will see. sarah and i are going to start walking also. i have been eating fairly healthy with the exception of some very unhealthy choices this past weekend. i bought apples and oranges, with salad and vinagrette(sp?). mmm mmm mmm.
i went and wish carole a very safe trip to alaska. carole used to work with me at sbux, she was a very close friend and mother figure. she is an older lady with 3 kids, 2 whom are younger than me. i believe she is mid-50s, but she looks and acts like she is in her 40s! i love her just like a family member. we exchanged info and we will be writing old fashioned letters to each other. i am really going to miss her.
after everything that has been happening in my life, i decided to make a summer bucket list, so here we go:
my 2010 summer bucket list.
{} go on a roadtrip, alone.
{2}make out with 10 different guys
{} try a new, exciting food
{} work out daily
{} read a book from every genre
oh i'll be adding more, dont worry!
buenos noches.
it's hotter than balls out
Ok seriously Nebraska? Why is it 90 degrees with 80% humidity in May? WHY?
It was 40 degrees last week and rainy. Now it is sunny (which I don't mind), hot and humid. GROSS. I can't even get ready without sweating.
Dave and Jared's going away party was last night. It was bittersweet. I surprisingly didn't cry, but I drank enough alcohol in a matter of 3 hours to keep me hungover all afternoon :) haha. It's so surreal, I can't believe they are moving in a week. I think I'm going to the lake to see gramma this weekend. My mom and dad don't want me to drive by myself at night, but I probably will anyway. I just need to get out of Nebraska and join them at the lake. It's been over a year and that's too long!
2nd week of summer school. I'm loving my tennis course, it helps that the football players make it more enjoyable.
Off to write a paper :)
goodnight.
It was 40 degrees last week and rainy. Now it is sunny (which I don't mind), hot and humid. GROSS. I can't even get ready without sweating.
Dave and Jared's going away party was last night. It was bittersweet. I surprisingly didn't cry, but I drank enough alcohol in a matter of 3 hours to keep me hungover all afternoon :) haha. It's so surreal, I can't believe they are moving in a week. I think I'm going to the lake to see gramma this weekend. My mom and dad don't want me to drive by myself at night, but I probably will anyway. I just need to get out of Nebraska and join them at the lake. It's been over a year and that's too long!
2nd week of summer school. I'm loving my tennis course, it helps that the football players make it more enjoyable.
Off to write a paper :)
goodnight.
Sunday, May 16, 2010
airplanes in the night sky,
Wow, starting yet another chapter into my life. The school year literally flew by, but so much has happened in the last 2 weeks that just amaze me.
Gramma's cancer came back. It was heartbreaking news. I can't stand knowing that so much is going on inside her body, yet she says she feels fine. It hurts me that I can't be with her, but I pray for her recovery every day. We will get through this as a family.
Summer school starts tomorrow. Yikes! Only 5 more classes and I'll be done done done with school in November! I got to check out the classroom I will be in next fall. I got assigned to Waverly Intermediate School (WIS). I'll be in a 4th grade classroom and I have an amazing cooperating teacher! The room is a bit small, but I've learned as a teacher that you take/use what you are given. :) I've been getting butterflies knowing that in a year I'll hopefully have a position filled somewhere with my own classroom. It's so surreal.
Dave and Jared move on the 30th. I can't believe it's happening. It feels like yesterday we were sitting in Panera planning our spring break to DC and them making plans to move out there. That was in like November. Hello, IT'S MAY! I'm terribly sad and I don't want my best friends to move, but I know it's a journey in their life that they have to take.
Upcoming things...
-Tennis class should be interesting
-NASC theme planning
-weddings
-hopefully an unplanned roadtrip to Chicago!
Gramma's cancer came back. It was heartbreaking news. I can't stand knowing that so much is going on inside her body, yet she says she feels fine. It hurts me that I can't be with her, but I pray for her recovery every day. We will get through this as a family.
Summer school starts tomorrow. Yikes! Only 5 more classes and I'll be done done done with school in November! I got to check out the classroom I will be in next fall. I got assigned to Waverly Intermediate School (WIS). I'll be in a 4th grade classroom and I have an amazing cooperating teacher! The room is a bit small, but I've learned as a teacher that you take/use what you are given. :) I've been getting butterflies knowing that in a year I'll hopefully have a position filled somewhere with my own classroom. It's so surreal.
Dave and Jared move on the 30th. I can't believe it's happening. It feels like yesterday we were sitting in Panera planning our spring break to DC and them making plans to move out there. That was in like November. Hello, IT'S MAY! I'm terribly sad and I don't want my best friends to move, but I know it's a journey in their life that they have to take.
Upcoming things...
-Tennis class should be interesting
-NASC theme planning
-weddings
-hopefully an unplanned roadtrip to Chicago!
Monday, May 3, 2010
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
need you now.
Oh these last 2 weeks have been grueling.
I've been having a lot of bad nights lately. Just memories.. it's really annoying but I can't help think about him. Like I was at the boys' last night and it's kinda hard not to drive by his apt because I park in front of it to get to anyone's apt. I just miss him. I miss the thought of him. a hug, a kiss, just waking up to him. a text saying goodnight, but also waking up to a good morning. I'm getting depressed as I read this.
My friend Ben is really great. He is helping me get through this. I know it's petty, but this break-up is the hardest thing I've had to go through personally for a very long time. The fact that he just cut things off.. like.. out of nowhere. It makes me wonder if he had been thinking about it for a very VERY long while. Talking with Ben has helped, he is encouraging and reassuring me that I will get through this. I'm just scared I won't get through it. I'm afraid I'll never find someone like Aaron, ever. He was perfect to me. I hate talking about him, but it's how I feel. I have this small hope that come Fall, he will want to be with me again... dumb, I know.
Well, back to teaching. Got a BIG geometry test today. I'm scared of that too.
Overall feeling of this week: scared
peace ouch.
- I'm ready for volleyball to over. The girls have given up.
- I'm ready for school to be over, only to have it start right up again
- I'm scared I won't pass lit block.
- I'm ready to be done with Starbucks
- I'm ready to student teach
- I'm ready to coach high school volleyball
I've been having a lot of bad nights lately. Just memories.. it's really annoying but I can't help think about him. Like I was at the boys' last night and it's kinda hard not to drive by his apt because I park in front of it to get to anyone's apt. I just miss him. I miss the thought of him. a hug, a kiss, just waking up to him. a text saying goodnight, but also waking up to a good morning. I'm getting depressed as I read this.
My friend Ben is really great. He is helping me get through this. I know it's petty, but this break-up is the hardest thing I've had to go through personally for a very long time. The fact that he just cut things off.. like.. out of nowhere. It makes me wonder if he had been thinking about it for a very VERY long while. Talking with Ben has helped, he is encouraging and reassuring me that I will get through this. I'm just scared I won't get through it. I'm afraid I'll never find someone like Aaron, ever. He was perfect to me. I hate talking about him, but it's how I feel. I have this small hope that come Fall, he will want to be with me again... dumb, I know.
Well, back to teaching. Got a BIG geometry test today. I'm scared of that too.
Overall feeling of this week: scared
peace ouch.
Thursday, April 1, 2010
remember that one time?
I was sitting here at the dining room table with my roommate Sarah (whom I've known my whole college career) and was like "When we are 40, we are going to be like 'remember that one time we stayed up all night to do homework, but instead listened to really good music?'" We both laughed and realized it would be true.
I've seriously been slacking lately and have had to make up for slacking by staying up all night tonight to work on a paper that was technically due last Thursday, but really isn't due until 12:30pm today. I have to leave for work in about 30 minutes. I am on my 2nd wind.
Let's recap my day though...
set alarm for 315 to work on paper.
hit snooze approx. 5-6 times, then finally shut it off.
slept until 815 realizing im screwed and need to take a shower before the job fair.
head to the job fair, where my palms sweat and i get a fuzzy timbly feeling in my stomach. gross.
talked to a few schools and have decided to apply out of state when the time comes.
walk back to my car, get home and decide to nap for 15 minutes.
15 minutes really means 2.5 hours.
again realize im screwed.
go to math to present my problem and actually learn something.
go home to pick up smackers.
go to volleyball and then procede to laugh at sarah telling her crazy train lady parent story.
go back home approx 845pm
go tanning/sbuxing/homeworking til sarah gets back from nva
go to hyvee to pick up stuff for corn dip.
homework sesh starts at midnight.
work hard until 230 to break and make corn dip.
eat a few bites of corn dip.
get back to the grind until i realize its 4am.
shit. and now sarah has gone to bed at 415 and i have to work in 15 minutes now...
one rockstar, one pkg of beef jerky later, i am STILL running. ask me in 5 hours and i'll probably be dead.
idk how i could live without caffeine. seriously though. i tried for 2 days and it was awful. id idnt get any head aches, i just couldnt function.
now im just rambling.. i had some lyrics to post.. oh yeah BULLETPROOF by LA ROUX = <3
Been there, done that, messed around
I’m having fun don’t put me down,
I’ll never let you sweep me off my feet,
I won’t let you in again, the messages I’ve tried to send,
my informations’ just not going in,
burnin’ bridges shore to shore, I’ll break away from something more,
I’m not to not to love until it’s cheap,
been there, done that, messed around,
I’m having fun don’t put me down,
I’ll never let you sweep me off my feet,
Chorus:
This time baby,
I’ll be,
Bulletproof
I won’t let you turn around,
and tell me now I’m much too proud,
to walk away from something when it’s dead,
do do do your dirty words come out to play when you are heard,
there’s certain things that should be left unsaid,
tick tick tick tick on the watch and life’s too short for me to stop,
Oh baby, your time is running out,
I won’t let you turn around,
and tell me now I’m much too proud,
All you do is fill me up with doubt,
I've seriously been slacking lately and have had to make up for slacking by staying up all night tonight to work on a paper that was technically due last Thursday, but really isn't due until 12:30pm today. I have to leave for work in about 30 minutes. I am on my 2nd wind.
Let's recap my day though...
set alarm for 315 to work on paper.
hit snooze approx. 5-6 times, then finally shut it off.
slept until 815 realizing im screwed and need to take a shower before the job fair.
head to the job fair, where my palms sweat and i get a fuzzy timbly feeling in my stomach. gross.
talked to a few schools and have decided to apply out of state when the time comes.
walk back to my car, get home and decide to nap for 15 minutes.
15 minutes really means 2.5 hours.
again realize im screwed.
go to math to present my problem and actually learn something.
go home to pick up smackers.
go to volleyball and then procede to laugh at sarah telling her crazy train lady parent story.
go back home approx 845pm
go tanning/sbuxing/homeworking til sarah gets back from nva
go to hyvee to pick up stuff for corn dip.
homework sesh starts at midnight.
work hard until 230 to break and make corn dip.
eat a few bites of corn dip.
get back to the grind until i realize its 4am.
shit. and now sarah has gone to bed at 415 and i have to work in 15 minutes now...
one rockstar, one pkg of beef jerky later, i am STILL running. ask me in 5 hours and i'll probably be dead.
idk how i could live without caffeine. seriously though. i tried for 2 days and it was awful. id idnt get any head aches, i just couldnt function.
now im just rambling.. i had some lyrics to post.. oh yeah BULLETPROOF by LA ROUX = <3
Been there, done that, messed around
I’m having fun don’t put me down,
I’ll never let you sweep me off my feet,
I won’t let you in again, the messages I’ve tried to send,
my informations’ just not going in,
burnin’ bridges shore to shore, I’ll break away from something more,
I’m not to not to love until it’s cheap,
been there, done that, messed around,
I’m having fun don’t put me down,
I’ll never let you sweep me off my feet,
Chorus:
This time baby,
I’ll be,
Bulletproof
I won’t let you turn around,
and tell me now I’m much too proud,
to walk away from something when it’s dead,
do do do your dirty words come out to play when you are heard,
there’s certain things that should be left unsaid,
tick tick tick tick on the watch and life’s too short for me to stop,
Oh baby, your time is running out,
I won’t let you turn around,
and tell me now I’m much too proud,
All you do is fill me up with doubt,
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
March showers bring April flowers...
What a week.. St. Louis was a bust. We were 49/51 and the only thing I can say is that I'm glad we didn't get last! I know it was a learning experience not just for my girls, but for myself. We lost everything, except one set. We played well on day 2, but 3 whole days of volleyball truly wears you out. Even as a coach it was exhausting being on your feet and constantly stressing about who will play where, how to deal with parents and how to deal with snotty girls. All in all, I'm so glad I went. I got to learn more about JoAnn, my head coach and I learned that at the age of 22, being around people 40+ or 14 and under, is and isn't, a fun experience. I can't relate to the parents, but at the same time I can. As well as my girls, but I can't be friends.
My first week back at school was pretty hard. Knowing that I wouldn't be seeing Aaron was really getting to me. Being away from him on SB was fairly easy and I definitely didn't think of him much bc my mind was on volleyball. When I got back Sunday, I was able to run over to his place to get the remains of my belongings.. it was so hard. So so so so hard. We embraced for a good 3-4 minutes, me sobbing the whole time. I missed him. I still miss him.
The week went by and I thought things were looking up until something snapped. I was stressed bc of stupid lesson plans. I needed to find a way to get over him. So I wrote him a letter. Thank God I have the bestest friends, one that is a very good writer. I wrote out my letter and Jared called. I cried for a good 3 hours Sunday afternoon. I just felt worthless reliving all of my happiness, our happiness and then it was shattered by whatever he did. I didn't accuse him of anything, but he said that it wasn't me who did anything. So what did HE do for me to deserve this? I told him that "all I can do is pick up the pieces and better myself. You've taught me to never let my guard down for someone who cannot reciprocate my feelings. You screwed up and I hope you never treat another girl like you treated me. I realize that I do deserve better than someone who cannot man up to the responsibilities inherently necessary within and in ending a relationship." (Jared helped me with the big words."
I mean I felt empowered, but I didn't know if he would or how he would respond. Well I drove over to give it to him and we talked like everything was normal. Like we were just friends catching up on each other's lives. After I left (and long hugged) I text him that talking to him went better than I thought and that maybe friendship will come sooner than we thought. And he only replied that he hoped so. It's been 2 days and I haven't heard from him. I'm glad I haven't heard from him bc he is respecting what I asked. But there has been so much that I've wanted to share with him...
School has been so stressful and I cannot focus. Work is horrible and I don't want to ever go. My homework is never finished and I seem to be very lazy. Senioritis? Maybe. I just want to get done with AND PASS this semester and get onto summer.
Career fair tomorrow. EEKS. I'm nervous. Child Study pt. 2 due Thurs and the phonics test before class. I may or may not be sleeping until Friday, when I have no work. AWESOME.
Peace ouch.
My first week back at school was pretty hard. Knowing that I wouldn't be seeing Aaron was really getting to me. Being away from him on SB was fairly easy and I definitely didn't think of him much bc my mind was on volleyball. When I got back Sunday, I was able to run over to his place to get the remains of my belongings.. it was so hard. So so so so hard. We embraced for a good 3-4 minutes, me sobbing the whole time. I missed him. I still miss him.
The week went by and I thought things were looking up until something snapped. I was stressed bc of stupid lesson plans. I needed to find a way to get over him. So I wrote him a letter. Thank God I have the bestest friends, one that is a very good writer. I wrote out my letter and Jared called. I cried for a good 3 hours Sunday afternoon. I just felt worthless reliving all of my happiness, our happiness and then it was shattered by whatever he did. I didn't accuse him of anything, but he said that it wasn't me who did anything. So what did HE do for me to deserve this? I told him that "all I can do is pick up the pieces and better myself. You've taught me to never let my guard down for someone who cannot reciprocate my feelings. You screwed up and I hope you never treat another girl like you treated me. I realize that I do deserve better than someone who cannot man up to the responsibilities inherently necessary within and in ending a relationship." (Jared helped me with the big words."
I mean I felt empowered, but I didn't know if he would or how he would respond. Well I drove over to give it to him and we talked like everything was normal. Like we were just friends catching up on each other's lives. After I left (and long hugged) I text him that talking to him went better than I thought and that maybe friendship will come sooner than we thought. And he only replied that he hoped so. It's been 2 days and I haven't heard from him. I'm glad I haven't heard from him bc he is respecting what I asked. But there has been so much that I've wanted to share with him...
School has been so stressful and I cannot focus. Work is horrible and I don't want to ever go. My homework is never finished and I seem to be very lazy. Senioritis? Maybe. I just want to get done with AND PASS this semester and get onto summer.
Career fair tomorrow. EEKS. I'm nervous. Child Study pt. 2 due Thurs and the phonics test before class. I may or may not be sleeping until Friday, when I have no work. AWESOME.
Peace ouch.
Thursday, March 18, 2010
On my way to St. Louie
Ahh this trip is going to (hopefully) help clear my mind. A national volleyball tournament = heaven. I'm just excited to getout of Nebraska, it is just the trip I need!
I'm not looking forward to getting back into the grind of things on Monday considering I have 3 papers and 6 lesson plans due Tuesday and Thursday. Balls. Oh well. I will hopefully have some outlines of the lesson plans done over the weekend.
A 9 hour car ride is not what the doctor ordered, but I'll take it.
Anything but sitting in Lincoln, Nebraska by myself for 4 days.
St. Pat's was successful. I was happy. I didn't think I could acheive happiness so quickly. I suppose the 2 Guiness I drank along with the 3 green Bud Lights and a Irish Car Bomb helped a little.
Home was refreshing. Got to visit some classrooms and reality really struck when my old teachers were talking about visiting MY classroom in a year. YIKES. MY classroom? Shit, I really will be teaching in a year or two...
Au Revoir.
I'm not looking forward to getting back into the grind of things on Monday considering I have 3 papers and 6 lesson plans due Tuesday and Thursday. Balls. Oh well. I will hopefully have some outlines of the lesson plans done over the weekend.
A 9 hour car ride is not what the doctor ordered, but I'll take it.
Anything but sitting in Lincoln, Nebraska by myself for 4 days.
St. Pat's was successful. I was happy. I didn't think I could acheive happiness so quickly. I suppose the 2 Guiness I drank along with the 3 green Bud Lights and a Irish Car Bomb helped a little.
Home was refreshing. Got to visit some classrooms and reality really struck when my old teachers were talking about visiting MY classroom in a year. YIKES. MY classroom? Shit, I really will be teaching in a year or two...
Au Revoir.
Sunday, March 14, 2010
even more irony.
Al called me Friday. Of all people. 6 times to be exact.
I kinda flipped because he is in basic. He can't call people or write people.
So why in the hell is he calling me?
He called me today. I haven't let my phone since Friday. (it doesn't help me not want to text Aaron either.) I just didn't want to miss his next call and I had no idea when it would be. He's doing great. He sounds great. I asked him to keep calling me. He wants to keep calling me. I'm going to write him, he said it's something he looks forward to everyday (in general).
This has been the best highlight of my spring break.
___________________________________________________
It's over. "I'm not going to call you an asshole or a douche bag... but I hope you feel like shit. because I feel like shit. I had so many things to show you about my life and you are going to miss out on each and every one of them.... this wasn't supposed to end."
I felt strong when I left, but it's tearing me apart. I just don't know how to do this, get over someone.
I've realized very fast who my true friends are.
It doesn't help that that stupid Lady Antebellum song came on right when I left.
I need you now.
I kinda flipped because he is in basic. He can't call people or write people.
So why in the hell is he calling me?
He called me today. I haven't let my phone since Friday. (it doesn't help me not want to text Aaron either.) I just didn't want to miss his next call and I had no idea when it would be. He's doing great. He sounds great. I asked him to keep calling me. He wants to keep calling me. I'm going to write him, he said it's something he looks forward to everyday (in general).
This has been the best highlight of my spring break.
___________________________________________________
It's over. "I'm not going to call you an asshole or a douche bag... but I hope you feel like shit. because I feel like shit. I had so many things to show you about my life and you are going to miss out on each and every one of them.... this wasn't supposed to end."
I felt strong when I left, but it's tearing me apart. I just don't know how to do this, get over someone.
I've realized very fast who my true friends are.
It doesn't help that that stupid Lady Antebellum song came on right when I left.
I need you now.
Friday, March 12, 2010
oh the irony.
it's so ironic when you go to tell someone you love them (for the first time) and then they pull the "we need to talk" card.
they proceed to break up with you after you've spent 5 of the most happiest months together.
they tell you that you deserve better and that you're complete opposites.
well we are opposites for a reason.
it's so ironic that when you need you best friends the most they are in ireland, DC and panama city.
one is halfway around the world and three are on the east coast. FML.
it's like im living in a movie. am i in some reality show? are people watching me like the truman show?
well if i am. you fuckers got me good. i now to have to live with my decision to stay in lincoln next fall. or go to the same weddings as him. and share the same friend circle. or lose those friends. who knows.
i need my mom. megan. jared. dave. and eric.
the worst spring break ever.
good thing it's my last.
they proceed to break up with you after you've spent 5 of the most happiest months together.
they tell you that you deserve better and that you're complete opposites.
well we are opposites for a reason.
it's so ironic that when you need you best friends the most they are in ireland, DC and panama city.
one is halfway around the world and three are on the east coast. FML.
it's like im living in a movie. am i in some reality show? are people watching me like the truman show?
well if i am. you fuckers got me good. i now to have to live with my decision to stay in lincoln next fall. or go to the same weddings as him. and share the same friend circle. or lose those friends. who knows.
i need my mom. megan. jared. dave. and eric.
the worst spring break ever.
good thing it's my last.
Sunday, February 28, 2010
the first wave..
I'm sick. Not like "Ahh man I'm so sick of school." but actually sick. Like what the hell? I haven't been sick for years, I mean a little sniffle and sneeze once in a while but that's due to allergies that follow me year round. I am legit sick. Body aches, pounding headache, sore throat and sniffles. YUCK.
I sure I feel better in the morn.
ANYWAYS. Told my boss off at work today, kinda surprised I didn't get sent home. Hah. His sarcasm just finally took it's toll. Good thing I'm bold enough to tell people the truth. The truth hurts sometimes.
USA lost to CAN-A-DA in hockey today. It was sooo sad. I wish we would've won, but oh well. You win some, you lose some. We had already beat them once, I suppose it was their time to win.
Right now I'm working on my autobio sketch for my Student Teaching Application. YIKES. It needs to be turned in tomorrow. Balls.
Better get back to focusing ( which I'm severly lacking right now.)
SYLB
p.s. Mom took us shopping this weekend (BoMBDiG!)
I sure I feel better in the morn.
ANYWAYS. Told my boss off at work today, kinda surprised I didn't get sent home. Hah. His sarcasm just finally took it's toll. Good thing I'm bold enough to tell people the truth. The truth hurts sometimes.
USA lost to CAN-A-DA in hockey today. It was sooo sad. I wish we would've won, but oh well. You win some, you lose some. We had already beat them once, I suppose it was their time to win.
Right now I'm working on my autobio sketch for my Student Teaching Application. YIKES. It needs to be turned in tomorrow. Balls.
Better get back to focusing ( which I'm severly lacking right now.)
SYLB
p.s. Mom took us shopping this weekend (BoMBDiG!)
Friday, February 26, 2010
Oh so much has happened since the beginning of the month!
I have finally decided on where I am wanting to student teach. After a lot of thinking and discussing, I have decided to apply toward District 145 also know as Waverly. My deciding factor is that I know the volleyball coach ( Terri Neujahr) from NVA, where I coach now. Other factors is that it's a new school district, it's small (something that I love) and that we get to play Plattsmouth. Haha the last one is just for fun though. I am very much looking forward to being a part of the classroom and coaching out in Waverly until I graduate.
Lent has since started and I'm doing pretty good on my one-soda-a-day thing and I just started going to church once a week. My sister chose me to be Dominik's godmother. It was really exciting, but I need to pull my weight and get back into being Catholic. I know it won't be hard, but I kinda need the motivation (being responsible for Dom's religious upbringing).
Fr. Holdren had a really great sermon last night that has been sticking with me though. He was talking about God answering our prayers. That sometimes we are greedy and expect Yes as an answer. Well he said that sometimes God does say Yes, but sometimes God says NO.. but then sometimes God say Not Yet, like it's not time to answer that yet, your time will come. He told us that we need to trust God and that even if it's not the answer we want, He answered it that way for a reason.
I just really liked that. It was super neat.
But now I'm off to work, Aaron went home for the weekend and I'm going to Omaha for the day tomorrow. Have a great weekend!
I have finally decided on where I am wanting to student teach. After a lot of thinking and discussing, I have decided to apply toward District 145 also know as Waverly. My deciding factor is that I know the volleyball coach ( Terri Neujahr) from NVA, where I coach now. Other factors is that it's a new school district, it's small (something that I love) and that we get to play Plattsmouth. Haha the last one is just for fun though. I am very much looking forward to being a part of the classroom and coaching out in Waverly until I graduate.
Lent has since started and I'm doing pretty good on my one-soda-a-day thing and I just started going to church once a week. My sister chose me to be Dominik's godmother. It was really exciting, but I need to pull my weight and get back into being Catholic. I know it won't be hard, but I kinda need the motivation (being responsible for Dom's religious upbringing).
Fr. Holdren had a really great sermon last night that has been sticking with me though. He was talking about God answering our prayers. That sometimes we are greedy and expect Yes as an answer. Well he said that sometimes God does say Yes, but sometimes God says NO.. but then sometimes God say Not Yet, like it's not time to answer that yet, your time will come. He told us that we need to trust God and that even if it's not the answer we want, He answered it that way for a reason.
I just really liked that. It was super neat.
But now I'm off to work, Aaron went home for the weekend and I'm going to Omaha for the day tomorrow. Have a great weekend!
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
big kid choices.
shoot, it's been awhile.
I'm teaching 2 days a week at Koozer Elementary. It's wonderful. I am so happy. 3rd and 4th graders make me crazy, but I love it.
I've been stressing out the last few days though, not about the kids, but about making actual big kid choices like searching for another job (leaving Starbucks is a whole 'nother story.) and figuring out where I want to student teach next fall. Turns out I have 26 days to decide. Well... how do I decide? I have a zillion factors to consider. Living at home provides free rent/food, a great serving job at the Moon, but that puts me an hour away from my friends and Aaron. Oh ANNNNND Husker football.. yeah, hard choice. But teaching at LPS means I can stay in my house at 180 a month, live near Aaron and my friends and football. I can also teach where I am familiar and find a serving job on the weekends (hopefully).
SO much to do! Have a great week.
I'm teaching 2 days a week at Koozer Elementary. It's wonderful. I am so happy. 3rd and 4th graders make me crazy, but I love it.
I've been stressing out the last few days though, not about the kids, but about making actual big kid choices like searching for another job (leaving Starbucks is a whole 'nother story.) and figuring out where I want to student teach next fall. Turns out I have 26 days to decide. Well... how do I decide? I have a zillion factors to consider. Living at home provides free rent/food, a great serving job at the Moon, but that puts me an hour away from my friends and Aaron. Oh ANNNNND Husker football.. yeah, hard choice. But teaching at LPS means I can stay in my house at 180 a month, live near Aaron and my friends and football. I can also teach where I am familiar and find a serving job on the weekends (hopefully).
SO much to do! Have a great week.
Saturday, January 2, 2010
2010.
It's been awhile. I mean hell, it's already 2010. I'm lying in bed, leg propped up and about 7 layers of blankets since it's 0 degrees outside. [it's the truth]. I'm hoping the swelling goes down on my foot/ankle bc it's awful to look at.
Sheesh. What a week. What a year.
I decided to have last minute surgery on my leg on Monday. That was dumbbb, but cool. Probably one of the coolest things I did in 2009. I got to stay awake for the whole procedure of "removing hardware from the left acl." I don't like the ring of removing hardware, but it had to be done! So after the fact that they yanked a staple out of my bone, I'm in slight pain and on great drugs. It was definitely a one-of-a-kind experience. The doctors and nurses talked to me the whole time and my anesthesiologist, Al, cracked jokes that he thought I wouldn't remember. Haha. New Year's Eve came around the next day. It sure was great to see Aaron, even if it was right as the ball dropped in New York: my favorite part. I literally walked in his door at 10:56p. Fantastic. We finally got to exchange gifts. A huge, snuggly blanket and a very warm, thick scarf. We rang in 2010 with a kiss and pink champagne, memorable for sure. New Years Day was a lazy day with chocolate chip pancakes and mimosas, UP, homemade pizza and Ironman. It sucked saying goodbye today because I won't see him til school starts.
Now a recap on my year. Holy shit where did it go? It seems like yesterday that I was starting college and now its the year I will graduate? Man that's crazy.
January 2009: Rang in the new year at Jordan's. What a party. A relationship begins to fizzle.
February: spent V-day by myself and ice cream. Awesome.
March: Loving every minute of my practicum at Roper Elementary.
April: Ended school on a great note, getting ready to start 2 months of summer school.
May: Viper Tab. enough said.
June: Celebrate 2 years with that company called Starbucks.
July: Spent the 4th with my sisters and Grandma. It was wonderful.
August: Workshop wore me out. A week with middle schoolers was exhausting, but a learning and worthwhile experience. I spent an unforgettable weekend in DC with Dave. I didn't know him well until that trip. Gay bars, black outs, falling off of top bunks, Starbucks, metros, tubing down the Potomac. So many things I will never forget.
September: Football. My 22nd birthday. The start of something new :)
October: Football.
November: Football. Tgiving at the Lauers, my second fam.
December: I became an aunt for the first time. Dominik Rowan Applegate. He's a lil chunker, but full of bright smiles and gorgeous eyes. I can't wait to see him! Finished my 2nd to last semester in actual classes. Now on to my last practicum and student teaching next fall! Blizzards on Christmas, a foot or more of snow, surgery on my knee and a quiet New Years with Aaron.
Things to look forward to in 2010: Babies. Haha no not mine, but I get to see my nephew for the first time next week. I seriously can't wait to see the lil' nuggle and to see my sister. Spring Break! I'll be spending it with my besties Jared and Dave in one of my favorite cities, Washington DC. We will also be visiting NYC, a first for me. I cannot wait. It is our last hoorah until we all have big kid jobs. I'm the last one to graduate and they will probably move out of Nebraska asap. Weddings! I have 3 weddings to attend next summer. It is the first round of actual friends getting married. Its very exciting. Dave and Abbie, Jon and Traci, Ashlee and Tony. All in July too! Workshop. When am I not looking forward to spending a week with middle and high school kiddos? Student teaching. Wow. One step away from getting my big kid job. If only I could figure out where to student teach! Graduation. Just writing that is making it surreal. I have one year to finish my undergraduate here at the University of Nebraska-Lincoln. Wait, what?
Let's hope that 2010 brings all good things. It has already started out with a bang, so let's keep it going.
Best wishes and love to you all.
Sheesh. What a week. What a year.
I decided to have last minute surgery on my leg on Monday. That was dumbbb, but cool. Probably one of the coolest things I did in 2009. I got to stay awake for the whole procedure of "removing hardware from the left acl." I don't like the ring of removing hardware, but it had to be done! So after the fact that they yanked a staple out of my bone, I'm in slight pain and on great drugs. It was definitely a one-of-a-kind experience. The doctors and nurses talked to me the whole time and my anesthesiologist, Al, cracked jokes that he thought I wouldn't remember. Haha. New Year's Eve came around the next day. It sure was great to see Aaron, even if it was right as the ball dropped in New York: my favorite part. I literally walked in his door at 10:56p. Fantastic. We finally got to exchange gifts. A huge, snuggly blanket and a very warm, thick scarf. We rang in 2010 with a kiss and pink champagne, memorable for sure. New Years Day was a lazy day with chocolate chip pancakes and mimosas, UP, homemade pizza and Ironman. It sucked saying goodbye today because I won't see him til school starts.
Now a recap on my year. Holy shit where did it go? It seems like yesterday that I was starting college and now its the year I will graduate? Man that's crazy.
January 2009: Rang in the new year at Jordan's. What a party. A relationship begins to fizzle.
February: spent V-day by myself and ice cream. Awesome.
March: Loving every minute of my practicum at Roper Elementary.
April: Ended school on a great note, getting ready to start 2 months of summer school.
May: Viper Tab. enough said.
June: Celebrate 2 years with that company called Starbucks.
July: Spent the 4th with my sisters and Grandma. It was wonderful.
August: Workshop wore me out. A week with middle schoolers was exhausting, but a learning and worthwhile experience. I spent an unforgettable weekend in DC with Dave. I didn't know him well until that trip. Gay bars, black outs, falling off of top bunks, Starbucks, metros, tubing down the Potomac. So many things I will never forget.
September: Football. My 22nd birthday. The start of something new :)
October: Football.
November: Football. Tgiving at the Lauers, my second fam.
December: I became an aunt for the first time. Dominik Rowan Applegate. He's a lil chunker, but full of bright smiles and gorgeous eyes. I can't wait to see him! Finished my 2nd to last semester in actual classes. Now on to my last practicum and student teaching next fall! Blizzards on Christmas, a foot or more of snow, surgery on my knee and a quiet New Years with Aaron.
Things to look forward to in 2010: Babies. Haha no not mine, but I get to see my nephew for the first time next week. I seriously can't wait to see the lil' nuggle and to see my sister. Spring Break! I'll be spending it with my besties Jared and Dave in one of my favorite cities, Washington DC. We will also be visiting NYC, a first for me. I cannot wait. It is our last hoorah until we all have big kid jobs. I'm the last one to graduate and they will probably move out of Nebraska asap. Weddings! I have 3 weddings to attend next summer. It is the first round of actual friends getting married. Its very exciting. Dave and Abbie, Jon and Traci, Ashlee and Tony. All in July too! Workshop. When am I not looking forward to spending a week with middle and high school kiddos? Student teaching. Wow. One step away from getting my big kid job. If only I could figure out where to student teach! Graduation. Just writing that is making it surreal. I have one year to finish my undergraduate here at the University of Nebraska-Lincoln. Wait, what?
Let's hope that 2010 brings all good things. It has already started out with a bang, so let's keep it going.
Best wishes and love to you all.
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